Things to Avoid in a Healthy Relationship

One of the most important elements to life is the quality of intimate relationships. If improperly pursued, intimate relationships can be immensely taxing, difficult, and a burden rather than the benefit that they should be. I would like to analyze methods of effectively pursuing relationships in a direct manner, so as to avoid pitfalls and achieve even marginal levels of success. This article will focus on items to avoid for your relationship goals specifically, with other topics to follow.

Before we begin, this is a relatively information-light article, thereby not necessarily being a complete guide for relationships. This article should be most helpful as a supplement to your current information only.

Personality Disorders

First, personality disorders. Personality disorders can cause massive issues with inter-relationship dynamics and can completely detract from the positive elements of a relationship you may be in. If you suffer from a personality disorder, it is probably a good idea to reduce its negative effects through mental health treatment or other means before you engage in a serious intimate relationship. If you wish to be with someone who has a personality disorder, it is necessary to note whether it is manageable or not. If it isn't manageable, the relationship most likely is a poor decision. For example, if a person in a relationship suffers from narcissistic personality disorder, they may engage in behaviors such as arrogance, difficulty in handling basic criticism, massive insecurity, and contempt for others (specifically their partner in this scenario). If you are engaging in a relationship with a person with these qualities in the extreme, is isn't worth the investment of your time. As beneficial as other elements of the relationship may be, you will be absolutely floored by the negative kickback later. If possible, avoid personality disorders with your partner, and only seriously engage if the disorder is manageable.

Callous Behavior

Second, extreme levels of callousness from the person you are in a relationship with. If the other person you are with cannot take the relationship or their life seriously, the long-term prognosis is poor. This element enhances with age. For instance, a common area where callous behavior lies is financial decisions. If you partner commonly disregards the serious nature of financial decisions (eg. wastes money, is in massive debt), avoid this as much as possible. If they refuse help or advice, this is a massive issue that will only worsen, and could drag you into a negative position as well. Callousness is not to be respected in a relationship, especially one that will last and become something wonderful.

Furthering Loneliness and Isolation

Third, do not engage in behaviors that seem to be positive, but will only further your loneliness and isolation. People commonly fall into this trap when they believe that financial success will free them from the bonds of their sadness or lack of an intimate relationship. The reality is, financial security can be achieved through a good amount of hard work and organization. Extreme success requires a level of obsession that will isolate you to an unhealthy degree. Moreover, you may still not fulfill a relationship after this level of success. Many pursue high levels of financial success in order to fill a gap where these problems lie, rather than addressing these issues directly. Do not engage in behaviors that are positively successful, but will eventually isolate you and fail to address that issues in your life.

As a supplement to your current knowledge, I hope my perspective on negative things to avoid in a relationship can help your current and future relationship pursuits.